luishinton: Peter Joseph Swanson Says " Love is Love": A...

Uncle to Danny, Claire, Annie, Grace & ScotDoy

by Ian F.

Member since:
February 15, 2008

Commitment Questions is a book that gives you questions to use as tools to
get to know a potential partner by asking fun questions and there are also
key questions to ask a person to get to know them better no matter what
stage of the relationship you are in.

Today I am intervieweing Peter, to get his perspective on the book.

1 ) Peter, What do you think about the book " Commitment Questions?"

It's nice to have help in how to get along, like that. We grow up with love songs in pop music that give us unrealistic expectations (that love is "magic"), and then as we grow up our culture mostly just seems to show us examples of rude behavior - as if being rude and domineering is cool. It's not.

2 ) Do you think the LGBT Community could benefit from this book?

Yes. People are people. Getting along is getting along. Love is love. Respect, understanding and communication work for everybody with a pulse. The basic things people fight about, and love each other for, and stupidly screw up on, are really all the same in the end for anybody.

The book has many questions for every stage of a relationship.

Here are some more sample questions:

3)? Peter, Do you think people should ask the questions they really don't want to know the answers to ?

Yes, but if they REALLY don't want to know the answer then you can't just force it on them at a bad time. People need to talk and think about painful (or just awkward) things at the right time and place where they feel respected, or just feel in the mood to reflect. The nice thing about a book asking you questions is you can pick it up when you are in the mood to be open to it. A book never "puts you on the spot".

4) If you are asked a difficult question about yourself that you think is to prying, what is a polite way of refusing to answer a question?

Depends on who asks it and if you think they are being nasty to you or not. Dismissing it with a silly comment, to make a joke of it, can work very nice. Or silence (sometimes adding a brief "withering glare" if necessary) can work at the right time and place. Or just tell them you don't want to talk about it, if they push it. Nobody can make you talk about what you don't want to. It takes two to talk. If it's really important it can always be brought up again later.

5) What is the most outrageous question you have ever been asked ?

"Who's on top". Once I was in a room full of mixed company at a dinner party and I was the only gay person (that I knew of). I just replied, "We roll around far too much to be able to tell" and it got a laugh.

For?more information about the book visit amazon.com:

Commitment Questions: A grown folks guide to good Luv

?Thank you Peter Joseph Swanson for your commentary on? "Commitment Questions".